LOLtehrapie - We drew first LOL!

Unconventional healing and alternative therapies include the strangest of all methods. From the weird ones about drinking one's own urine to the absurd green therapy, where one has to wrap green cellophane paper around a bottle of water, keep it in natural sunlight for a week and then drink the water. But I digress.

Animal therapy is yet another fancy word that lifestyle and features magazines have gotten their eyes on. Keeping a dog around where you're training "special" children is supposed to help increase the speed at which they learn. Something as simple as having a pet around makes healing faster. Maybe the animals just make you happy and happiness helps heal faster. But what if one is allergic to animals? What if cats make you sneeze and dogs make you feel like you badly need to pee? What if the constant crotch sniffing gives you a hard on?

In which case, my zoophiliac friend, you can watch any animated film on repeat where animals smile and grin and have smart ass comebacks for anything the other animal says. Happy times. But not Happy Tree Friends. Watching them is another kind of therapy, the kind that leads to more therapy if you forget when to laugh. But if you are a part of the Venn diagram where an internet addict is intersected with a copyright anti-piracy freak, then u can has LOLtehrapie!

Those damned cute cats that once belonged to the much-hated forwards suddenly seem to make more sense when they speak in murdered English. They have their own religion. On a digressive note, someone actually translated the Christian Bible into a LOLcat Bible, all written in LOLspeak. Yes, the Ceiling Cat rested on the seventh day. There's even a LOLwalrus whining about his buckit.

People by the millions will claim that mutilating something gives them immense satisfaction and brings joy. As much as the average discerning reader will deny this, it is also called the Jungian principle of the opposites. Women, when depressed, assault their bank accounts, credit cards and tubs of chocolate ice cream with a fork. Men when depressed assault their own bodies, if assault can be used in that context, or maybe even a ball, not in that context. Both of the above species and sometimes even children assault their liver or maybe other children. Don't hide when I ask you to raise your hand if you haven't tried your best to fuck up that smiley-faced styrofoam ball. The fucker still keeps smiling, right? But I digress.

So how does LOL-ing help? LoL-ing involves multiple mutilation. A nice image of a well-behaved pet with the ugly fat Impact font. The English language as previously established. And you also get to vent your rage against fellow hoomans by pretending to be a LOLcat and writing in its voice because the tone of LOL is always hooman-deprecatory.

For example, I ended up creating the following anti-hooman LOLs on days of stress at work and in my social(?) life on the (in)famous cheezburger site.

(Image source: Wacked from a images.google search, so if it is your cat, apologies, it is now a LOLcat)

The Cute Cat Theory Of Digital Activism. An interesting essay that I read online discussed how tools that people make to have fun with their cat and dog pictures/videos are helping activism in the digital age. This MAY be a good side effect.

What I fear... is the bad side effects. Every therapy has side effects. Drugs lead to addiction. Violence to more violence. The "special" children start to think that when one meets a stranger, it is okay to sniff their crotch. Like how women grow fat and unappealing and pages of fitness magazines come stuck together.

It is starting to feel like that story I once read where a ventriloquist ends up believing that he is the puppet. Like the emo and goth movement, I fear the oncoming LOLculture which will then be called the LOLkulchur. Humans will start thinking they're cats, specifically LOLcats. And the humans who are still humans will be hoomans and later hoomins (human added to vermin). A war will break out and the effect will be something like the classic internet viral meme: ALL UR LOLZ R BELONG 2 US!

(Concept art, Image source: GIMPed, not Photoshopped. Random cat image from search and the Cats image from AYB site.)

So who wants to LOL Lita? Save hoomanity! Don't LOL cats! LOL Lita!

(Image source: Lee advert on the web, LOLcapped on the cheezburger site.)

Notes:
Art idea to go with the post: The AYB intro animation done in an animated gif, but with the following script and manipulated images.
IN A.D. 2101
WAR WAS BEGINNING.
CAPTAIN: WHAT HAPPEN?
MECHANIC: SOMEBODY SET UP US THE LOL.
OPERATOR: WE GET SIGNAL.
CAPTAIN: WHAT !
OPERATOR: MAIN SCREEN TURN ON.
CAPTAIN: IT'S YOU !!
KATS: HOWZ U GENTLEMEN !!
KATS: ALL UR BASE R BELONG 2 US.
KATS: U R ON TEH WAI 2 DESTRUCSHUN.
CAPTAIN: WHAT YOU SAY !!
KATS: U HAS NO CHANCE 2 SURVIV MAK UR TIEM.
KATS: LOL LOL LOL LOL ....