Wednesday, April 05, 2006

It was a calm and bright morning (contd. 3)

He comes to inside a dark club where the bassline's bursting with hiphop beats and black rappers rapping extempore, "Hey everybody come to 313!"

There was no one familiar around. All black guys and a couple of white guys shaking their hands and heads as fast as they could trying to catch up with some insane beat that was irritating him. He ran out where the drinks were being distributed.

"Hey Amigo Fedoro!"

That voice sounded familiar. He turned around to see Cavez waiting with two glasses of beer, "Beer taste so much good than Tequila! I love America!"

"How are you here? I was wacked?"

"I don't know Amigo!"

"Were you wacked too?"

"No Amigo but I fainted when you were whacked!"

"Cavez you need a shave! Your bristled ugly moustache will get us in to some trouble here with the law."

"You mean?"

"I mean, look at your dirty mexican self. Dump that sombrero. Dump the hair on your body. Look around and find a good camouflage. You'll be kicked out for being illegal here."

"Blah!" Cavez guzzled down both the glasses of beer. The walked out from there.

"But how and why did you come here?"

"I came in the same DHL box with you and with this brochure in my pocket with your name written on it."


They walk towards something but they don't know what it is. Hence they keep walking.

"Cavez, we need to get you some clothes."

"I am wearing clothes."

"I mean some real clothes."

"You mean like an overcoat and a fedora like yours?"

"Yea. I love this dress. We could look like twins and may be then people won't suspect us."

He picked up a stone and hurled it randomly at all those closed shops. One of the glass panes burst open. Both of them entered the store. It had clothes! Wow, what luck! So they started hunting for the fedora and overcoat. Soon they find both of them. While Cavez was changing, our man finds a razor and shaves his facial hair off. It was ages since he shaved and it had begun to itch.

Soon Cavez came there and our man forced the razor on his face. Cavez got scared and said he will shave and come. Soon Cavez shaved his full head and came there. Out of fear what he'd done had eventually left not a strand of hair on his face and red mexican skin all over. But it wasn't that which left our man dumb founded.

In sheer joy and shock he turned to Cavez and said, "Shave my head."


"Shave it!"


With complete pleasure and vengeance Cavez shaved our man's head off. There was written in a triangle - 333. Then our man said, "Cavez go check your head in the mirror." There was just another such tattoo on Cavez's head too! It said the same thing, '333'.

This scared the shit out of Cavez, "How can I be a semi-demon? I don't mind being a demi-god BUT a SEMI-DEMON?!"

"You fuckhead! Don't you see the obviousness?!"

"Which one?"

"We're together for a purpose! For the destruction of the world. Hence we've been travelling all over the world. I've been at least trying to look for you with those wacks. You were out on your way too but then since I was closer God called you back to your house and not in Columbia. Now you know why you survived?"

"Oh my God!"


"Oops! Oh my devil!"

"Yeah that's the right spirit!"

Soon enough they were sitting on the chairs at the shop like they were the evil tyrannical rules of the world. Atleast they thought they soon would be. Suddenly a bunch of homies walk in to the shop, "What you mofos doin' in here? Want something up your ass dawg?! This is our zone! We steal and breaka shops around here!"

"Oh ok!"

"We're both half-devils each and you're banned from the hell," said our man.

The group started laughing. It was quite obvious they didn't give a double fuck. Then one started rapping as the other pulled a gun out, "You fucking bitches are at detroit! Two bald mexicans are shivering in fright! Look I got a fucking gun and I fucking ruined their fun! They got no fucking names and I'm about to ruin their little game!"

"I'm not mexican. I'm Indian."

"Who cares?"

"I do."


When Cavez and our man came to this time around - they were sitting inside a small room. It had a lot of mirrors. It was a room that could be called 3' x 3'. Here they were two bald men with overcoats and fedoras nearly hugging each other and standing inside a freaking small room, smaller than a toilet!

A voice from outside screamed, "Dawg, these bitches seemed to have woken up. What do I do?"

A distant voice: "Get them outta the fucking dressing room!"


The man opened the door, let out these two men and asked them, "How the fuck did you pain?"

Meanwhile Cavez had already started drawing inside that anime brochure. He drew a hand moving towards their tattoos! "Is that what happened?" This was asked to Cavez by our man. And Cavez said, "Yes."

"Good. Now we find a good armour cap for our head once we're out of here which seems doubtful. Do you'll guys eat some humans? African bastards!"


"Where are we, Cavez?" said our man as we see their legs entwined as lovers and a man in custom's uniform has opened the box at the dock and is staring around. "Who the shit are you white uniformed white boy?"


(to be continued)

1 comment:

wordmonkey said...

hilarious or should I say jularious.